Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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