If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
