why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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