My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
