Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
