he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
