I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm bleeding and have questions
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
