she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
