4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
