besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Less talking, more tequila
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
