I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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