OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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