AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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