how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
