Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
