I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
