HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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