She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
