where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
