do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
