I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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