Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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