Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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