There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize