Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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