I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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