I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
