Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
