Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
