im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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