even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
