she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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