I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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