I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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