if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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