How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
