woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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