My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Porn is love you can see.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
