You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
