I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
