I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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