i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
