Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
