he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
