remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize