He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
