Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pooping to opera.
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