So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
