just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
