I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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