Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
