do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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