i'm signing you up for texting rehab
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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