So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
