goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
