she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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