Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
