Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
