I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
